I Wish to Part in Friendship with You

I seem to write mostly about relationships, but that's always been my M.O.  Don't worry; eventually, some engineering issues and how it relates to New Zealand culture will arise and I'll care to discuss those in more detail as they come.  In the mean time, however, relationships--both in friendship and romantic forms--will continue to fascinate me; especially considering the greater variety of cultures that currently surrounds me!

It's apparent now that I have made some pretty awesome friends in my first five months in New Zealand.  With some of these new friends, it feels strange to know that I hadn't known them any earlier.  Trips with them outside of work feel natural and extremely fun; just looking back at trips to Tongariro with new colleagues and to Martinborough with the Germans bring memories that I'll forever hold dear.  And I'm amazed at the minimal planning and ease of traveling that those trips brought along.  Perhaps that's just a product of New Zealand culture, in general.  Still, it's amazing to me that on any given evening, even a busy Friday night, I can manage to find someone to enjoy my time with.  Of course, these days it's made easier by the fact that Brandon is now here, but even so, there's always a friendly face to hang out with.  I must admit that that's a gift that I hadn't quite been expecting to be in such abundance.

Cathedral Cove in Coromandel Peninsula

Eastbourne Regional Park - Across the Bay from Wellington.  Can you see the South Island looming in the background?

Despite this utopian appearance, especially with scenery as such in the pictures, gleaming in the backdrop, there are relationships in this new world that leave me with a question mark.  Yes, there are people at work--colleagues--that I react with a surprising crinkle of my nose when they speak, but it's fine.  It's not a rule to thoroughly enjoy everyone you work with, as long as everyone maintains respect for one another, and it's an acceptable choice to avoid any extraneous socializing with them than what is required at work.

But sometimes there are people in your life, friends of friends, that you almost feel obligated to like.  They've done you a favor, or have overall been pretty good to you; or perhaps it's the simple fact that all of your friends enjoy this person.  It's human nature to want to be apart of the bigger crowd.  But when you find yourself uncomfortable with this consensus--disagreeing with it because of irritating habits and mismatched personalities--it's tempting to act against the grain.  Do you just start avoiding contact with this person, or do you bite your tongue?  Do you say something and make it awkward for everyone else?  Obviously, the answers are no.  Life is too short to be around people that make you that uncomfortable, but it's good-natured to give people a decent chance.  But at what point is trying to meet this consensus not really worth it?

After some thought, I've come to the conclusion that a mix of courage and wisdom is best.  In other words, it's fine to be honest, as long as it's not outlandishly hurtful.  Keep a distance, but don't claim hatred against the person.

I'm speaking mostly in code and that can be for an obvious reason.  I dwell on it because I cherished the near-perfection of this bubble of friendships, and now I find that this is reality.  Whatever these friendships are or are not, my focus remains to forget the drama and enjoy it all, to gaze out onto overextending vistas and sparkling ocean and appreciate what I've been given.

After all, when the end comes near, it will be best to part in friendship.